This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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