I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
