i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
