I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
