Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
