Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
