She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
