the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
