why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
