God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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