My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
