dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
