Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
