I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
