he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
