i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
