But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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