i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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