Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
