when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
