I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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