AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
