btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
