drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize