did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
