someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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