Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize