my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
