So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
