nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
