I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You left your phone here
Wait...
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