smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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