Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
