He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
