Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
