susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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