In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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