apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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