just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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