Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
