The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
