I wannas sexs uuuuu
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
