Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
