I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
