Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
