Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Church boner. Awkwardddd
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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