it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
