I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
