This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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