I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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