i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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