hotel room ftw
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
