Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
