Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
