I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize