The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize