The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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