YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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